A Plane ride

Three weeks ago Bryson and I flew up to Kelowna to be with my family for christmas. This was Brysons 8th flight in 2 years Id say we are pretty good at traveling together now, I call him my seasoned pro. The toddler 3 rows back from us was anything but a seasoned pro that poor girl wanted to be anywhere but on a air plane. Over the 3 hour flight I watched as annoyed passengers rolled eyes, huffed and puffed, one man even took it as far as to smack the back of his hand as if to say he was going to smack the child. The poor mother was flustered, and desperate for her child to just be quite. She kept shushing her and putting her in time out by strapping her into the seat so she couldn't move. This of course made things much worse. Wheels touched down, the flight was over, Bryson jumped up on the seat and was looking at the people all around. The lady behind us said to him " What a good boy you are, thank you for not breaking my ear drum". Another man said " I didn't even know you had a child on here what a good boy you have". As I walked off the plane a lady said " what a well behaved son you have, he didn't make a sound, unlike that other child." I replied " I know poor thing" Her response was "poor thing? more like spoiled brat". Ummm what? Can someone please explain this to me? If a child is quite and doesn't bother your life then they are good? But if they are having a hard time they are a spoiled brat? Where does this attitude come from?

Brysons top 3 favorite things are 1. His mommy 2. Reading stories 3. coloring he also is not a high energy child, and well he has been flying since he was 2 months old. So naturally as long as Im prepared with stories, coloring books, and good snacks the flight is a breeze. For a child who is high energy, who needs to move flying is a nightmare especially with a unprepared mother who is flustered. This does not make bryson good and it especially does not make the other child bad. Why do we think this way? Why are such high expectations placed on children?  This poor toddler was in a strange place, where she was forced to sit still, her mom had annoyed eyeballs on her making her unkind to her, there was nothing to distract her. I mean this poor girl was anything but spoiled it was actually the opposite none of this girls needs were being met, where all of Brysons needs were being met making him "spoiled". Why don't we have more grace? Why don't we have more empathy? Why do we have such bad attitudes toward children?

Its almost like we are so obsessed with having well behaved children, that their humanness means we fail as parents. Sometimes I feel that christians parents have the hardest time with this, the desperation to have obedient children. What does this show your child? A true picture of who their heavenly father is? A good understanding of Gods love? I often wonder why so many adolescent kids leave the church. My guess is that they haven't been given the freedom to be, the freedom to be human. That from a early age these huge expectations have been held over their heads, with shame and guilt. Making this God so untouchable, so judgmental. So they leave to find acceptance in people, places and things. Leaving their parents saying "where did we go wrong"? Not ever realizing that they never truly painted a true picture of Gods wondrous love.  What if God treated us like that? With control, expectation, guilt, shame and punishment? Then called it "unconditional" love and said "I only do it because I love you" Confusing isn't it?
I wonder what would have happened if every time that mother made eye contact with someone on that flight they smiled, gave a kind nod. Even went as far to touch her arm and say " don't worry my daughter always had a hard time on air planes" and offered her daughter a sticker, or something to play with from their purse. I wonder if that would then give that mother the grace to look at her child with kind eyes saying " I know its hard and you want to run and jump, but what else could be do to pass the time? Would you like to tell stories or look at all the clouds out the window". What if we stopped labeling children as good or bad, or thinking they needed to fit into our box of expectations. I wonder what kind of adults they would turn out to be.

Nite nite friends