My parenting Philosophy

1st let me start by saying I am no expert, Ive been doing this for 18 months so to even think I have it figured out is comical. Just like health I dont believe there is a one size fits all approach to parenting. What I do believe is we have to parent the way that makes sense in our soul. Parenting holds so much weight and can be such a touchy subject, so I really hope you hear my heart. There is no such thing as a perfect parent or perfect parenting, but there is such thing as trying to become better and that is the definition of perfect parenting. We need to remember our choices will lead to either the pain of self discipline or the pain of regret.

The phrase: when the student is ready the teacher appears was beyond true in my journey as a new mom. Sitting in the hospital holding my couple hour old baby me and my husband were desperately trying to give him a name we finally decided on Bryson Robert Berry. My husband turns to me and says honey when he is in trouble you can yell BRYSON ROBERT BERRY!!! I looked at him and said "I could never yell at him honey" My new found ferocious love that consumed every inch of my soul couldn't possibly imagine ever being mad at this perfect little being. I knew I needed to learn, I knew I would need help but I was determined to keep this feeling alive. I met Rachel Rainbolt and at last I found my teacher she would then introduce me to this world that finally made sense that finally sat well with my soul. I devoured her book sage parenting I finally had the confidence to not listen to what the world was telling me, to go with my gut and thats where my philosophy started to unfold that I will forever and always parent my son with Empathy. 

I think when you start seeing your child with empathetic lenses they look different to you. I started to look at the world from his perspective, I started to see him as a human being not a baby. I realized that the behavior will one day fade and the relationship will be whats left of how I handled the behavior. His cries in the middle of the night was my scared son who had been loved and cuddled 24 hours a day in my tummy for 9 months who was now in a dark room all alone and his only way of communicating with me was crying. So many people told me to let him cry it out that he was manipulating me that he should never go in my bed it would ruin my marriage and he would be in there forever. Thank God I never listened, thank God i trusted myself enough to respect my son and what he needed. Some of my most cherished moments with my son are in my bed, waking up nose to nose breathing in his very existence.  Now as a toddler when my son is having a hard time  I see a boy having a hard time who is so desperately in need of loving help. He isn't a brat, or controlling, or trying to runin my day. His brain isnt developed he needs to be shown how to act not punished. I think sometimes we hold such high expectations over our children like they aren't supposed to have bad days, or whine, and just cant be grumpy but its perfectly acceptable for an adult to be. If I want my son to show me kindness then I have to show him kindness, not sometimes, not most of the time, ALL the time. Is this easy? No I have to stop and remind myself to breath I repeat over and over again in my head "I am the voice of calm and peace, I set the tone for our house".  I have to take ownership for myself! The way we react to our children is a choice bryson isnt making me mad I can very well choose to stay calm. I dont want him learning this at 27 I want him to grow up knowing it because thats all he has ever been shown. This is emotional intelligence, this is far more important to me then learning the ABC's or how to ride a bike. Its what will set the tone for his whole life, how he will respond to the world.



"Listen earnestly to anything your children wants to tell you, no matter what. If you don't listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won't tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff".  This is my motto every emotion my son feels is okay with me and is a big deal I take it seriously when he is scared or upset. I dont laugh or tell him he is ok.... He isnt ok he is upset or scared. This doesnt mean I over exaggerate or blow it out of proportion I go off of what he is feeling not me. He was recently super scared about flies (I think its cause he thought they were bees) So anytime he was playing outside and started to cry because a fly wouldnt leave him alone I would kneel down next to him and say " I see the fly is upsetting you, do you not want him around?" and he would shake his head yes so I would say "ummmm I wonder how we can get him to go away? Maybe we can say go away fly and move our hand around" I would stay close by so if a fly would come around i could help him do that. He isnt afraid of flies anymore and has no problem saying go go go when a fly or a bee comes around. I didnt have to make him feel stupid and say oh my goodness its just a fly dont act like such a baby. I helped him problem solve so that he learned how to not be scared anymore.



I really believe that children dont want to misbehave, I believe there is alway a underlining issue (hunger, tiered, in need of attention, connection issues, problem at school etc) My 18 month old is not capable of thinking I really want to be bad right now so Im going to hit the dog. He is overcome with emotion has no idea what to do with it so he looses control of himself. OR he is curious of how I will react to him when touching the light socket after being told "no touch". Yelling or throwing him in timeout or spanking doesnt help his brain learn what not to do, or how to handle himself. When I mess up and if my husband yells at me or shuts himself off emotionally from me it doesnt help me learn it makes me feel disconnected, unloveable, resentful, and makes me down on myself. Im 27 can you imagine what a child would think when its coming from the one person they love most in this world, who they rely on for their survival? In a resent study American kids were asked why they should't hit the dog. The majority said because they would get in trouble. That's alarming!!! I mean if you really think about it as you got older and you were going to do something you shouldn't do did you think I shouldnt do this because I'll get in trouble? or did you think I shouldnt do this because I can cause pain to someone and its not the right thing to do? By using punishment do we really teach our children the difference between whats right and wrong? Or are we just controlling their thought process with fear? Rachel Rainbolt the author of sage parenting says she wants to raise free thinkers not obedient children. That speaks to me THAT makes sense. I want my son to apologize not because Ive made him say sorry so many times he feels he must say it, I want him to say it because he genuinely understands what he did and feels sorry. I dont want him to follow what I say because "I said so" and if he doesnt he will be in trouble. I want him to have such a strong connection with me of a relationship that is built on mutual respect and love that he WANTS to behave. Will he always listen? Of course not, will he get off track? Of course he is human, but when the foundation to our relationships is connection getting back on track doesnt have to be a power struggle.

So does this mean I let my son do whatever he wants and get away with everything? Not at all. Kids need boundaries in order to feel safe. So I do what Dr. Laura from Ahaparenting.com says: set empathetic limits. I LOVE her web site and her book peaceful parent happy child. I read her blog everyday it continually helps me change my thoughts and change my words for the better.  When I have to leave the house and bryson is busy playing I always put myself in his world and respect what he is doing. I get down to his level comment on his project "wow buddy mommy sees you working hard on that tower, you look like your really having fun with that". "In about 2 minuets mommy really needs your help to get out of the door we need to go get groceries, can you help me with that?" If he says no then I say " I know its hard to leave things that we are having fun with but mommy really needs to get groceries and you can work on this when we get back" In 2 minutes I say "okay sweets its time to go" He usually has no problem coming but if he did and he hit me I would hold his hand and say "hitting hurts and its never ok to hit, hands are for being gentle, I understand its hard to leave your toys. Would you like to pick a small toy to bring with us for the car?"  Im not rewarding him for hitting me Im filling a need.

This type of parenting is hard it takes self control, TONS of patience, and a lot of changing on my part. But the best things in life are never free they take a lot of blood sweat and tears and I believe my relationship with my son is worth it. My prayer is that he grows up feeling cherished, valued and respected. That he doesnt just know that I adore him but that he FEELS it, that he feels that no matter what NO MATTER WHAT I love him with all of my heart. He is a miracle he is my gift from God and I have my whole life to show him that everyday. As a christian I try and think about what Jesus would have been like if he was dad, he was so kind and compassionate, so warm and powerful. So slow to anger but quick with grace. I feel like if i did something that didnt please him he would gently touch my face and say "my child I love you, you bring me great joy and nothing you do can ever change that" Thats what I want for my son and I will live everyday trying to be better.

xoxo

12 things I changed in 2013

Half of 2013 is over I feel like asking time..... Are you sure? It just goes by far to fast that it makes me want to stop and scream HOLD YOUR HORSES IM NOT READY!! But I have to suck it up and carry on.  On the quest to become my best self I had to make some changes and I will continue to have to make changes, I needed to take action over my life to do what I said I was going to do. I want to look back on my life and say I became all that I could. To do so the secret lies in my daily habits, the book the slight edge says doing little things everyday become big things over time. Today I am reflecting on those:

1. I started reflecting: Reflection after learning is vital. If you dont stop and ask yourself how can I apply this? It will go away with the wind. 

2. I became Journey focused instead of destination focused: I used to read books and count the pages till the chapter was done. I wanted the satisfaction of finishing a book, instead of learning all that I could from it. Now I read books and sometimes Ill read one page and it speaks so much to me I'll read it 3 times. Im reading to learn Im enjoying the process of growing and Im not in a hurry to get there, because there is no such thing as "there". 

3. When I set a goal I mean it: I used to always write down my goals and then a month would go by and I hadn't done what I said I was going to do so I would get discouraged and quit. This isn't allowed anymore if I say Im going to stretch everyday and its midnight and I want to go to bed I stretch anyway because I said I was going to and I feel so much better about myself afterward.

4. I am fixing my back : I was born with a hump in my spine, being 5'9 didnt help and I slouched on top of it. Kids always called me the hunchback of notre dame (nice right?) I then got in 2 car accidents and have been in constant pain for almost 10 years. Every year I would say next year Ill focus on my back then I would make an excuse why it wasnt a good time. This year no more excuses, Ive been going to the chiropractor for a month and half, stretching EVERYDAY, and doing exercise's for it.  The saying things get worse before they get better couldnt be more true, Ive had some days where picking up bryson was almost impossible. I had to dig deep and push threw it and Im so glad Im doing it. Ive seen BIG results already and cant wait to share before and afters at the end of the year.

5. I stopped watching reality T.V: We dont have cable but I would watch Keeping up with the kardashians, or housewives on the computer. I finally got sick of it and thought "this is'nt doing anything for me and is a huge waste of time". Brett and I will watch 45 mins of T.V at night together to unwind before bed. Im ok with that and hope to one day to only watch it once and awhile.

6. I started Oil pulling: In a quest to heal my mouth I listened to a seminar with the top holistic dentists across the country, it was fascinating. One speaker talked about how oil pulling changed his life, I had never heard of it before but I was intrigued. I did my own research and found what he was saying to be true. Its basically an age old practice of swishing oil around in your mouth for at least 10 mins, this pulls toxins out of your body and binds them to the oil. Some benefits include: great oral health, whiter teeth, pink gums, fresh breath. Its great for joint pain, sinus congestion, bad skin, chronic illness's, the list goes on. Ive been doing it everyday for 2 months and my gums no longer bleed when I floss.

7. We switched to cloth diapers: I am so mad we didnt do this sooner, I LOVE cloth diapers. NO more chemicals, better for the environment, save a ton of money, makes potty training easier.

8. I take my vitamins EVERYDAY: I used to take my vitamins once and awhile sometimes Id go weeks without taking them. Its been 6 months and I have not missed one day, they are my insurance and I believe totally vital for great health. Not all vitamins are created equal and I found a brand that I LOVE so I started selling them you can buy them here

9. I read everyday: I read once that you will become like the people you hang out with and the books you read. So everyday Ive been reading good books to help develop myself.

10. I'm simplifying my life: Im cutting out the crap and only leaving room for what matters. Im developing systems to try and utilize my time more efficiently so I can do more. This is a work in progress and still sometimes gets the best of me. But Im positive Ill master this at some point as long as I keep working on it.

11. I started a blog: Ive been thinking about doing this for a long time and just kept putting it off. This is a way for me to reflect, gage my progress, see my success's, and keeps me accountable. It will also be so cool to look back year after year at all the entries.

12. I started connecting with people: I want my son to be really confident when talking to people so that means I have to be. I promised myself that when I go places I would look people in the eye, smile and say hello how are you?  I find so often i would go about my day busy running around not really noticing all these beautiful people around me. Ive met some really neat people in the process, learned a lot watching others, and am more aware of whats going on around me.


What are somethings you've been telling yourself that you want to do but just haven't made time for?

nite nite friends

Stuffed Zucchini's

Here is my recipe for stuffed zucchinis they are DELISH!!

1. Cut and Core as many zucchinis as you need for diner and lunch the next day

2. I use organic, nitrate and preservative free bacon. The ingredients are bacon and sea salt thats it. Sauté those in a pan

3. I use whatever vegetables I have on hand in this recipe I used 1 carrot, 1 onion, 2 sweet potatoes, 7 mushrooms,  and 5 tiny zucchinis from our garden. Sauté everything in the bacon grease. 

Side note here: Fat is not bad for you, fat is your friend. This took me a long time to wrap my head around but we need to consume good heathy fats it is vital to our health. Fat doesnt make you fat!! Please do yourself a favor and stop consuming fat free things they are full of chemicals and actually make you fat instead of making to loose weight..... read about fat here

4. After it has sautéed for about 5 minutes on low heat I add half of the insides of the zucchinis cut up really small

5. Saute everything until tender I add celtic sea salt and pepper with enough sour cream to coat everything. If you dont eat dairy you could use a can of tomatos ( Make sure all canned food is BPA free)

6. Add bacon and stir

7. Fill all the zucchinis add some broth to the bottom so they cook better. 350 for about 30 mins test with a fork to make sure they are done. They should be soft.  If you have extra stuffing save to make pasta sauce with it later in the week!! 

Serve with sweet potatoes or salad 

Enjoy :) 

Nite Nite Friends

The goods

After hitting publish on my previous post I went to bed not knowing how people would respond, I thought to myself was that to honest? Should I have not done that? Waking up this morning I was a little nervous to look at my phone but you know what I had so many positive beautiful messages from people. Ladies who had gone threw similar struggle who found inspiration in my story. I truly feel that struggle is wasted if we dont learn from it or share it so that others may learn from it. Im so thankful I told my story I feel free, I think that was the next step in healing. I received many questions on what I eat and what bryson eats so I thought instead of sending out individual messages I would just write it here.

1st let me say I am no expert and I dont have all the answers, Im a student and I am still learning. This is what works for my family and I dont believe there is a 1 shoe fits all when it comes to health.

My food philosophy is to eat like people used to eat before there was ever convenient foods, chemicals,  and commercialized farming. I dont follow any sort of diet, diets are restricting and its not safe for me to do them. This doesnt mean I dont cut things out I did a 21 day sugar detox in january and Im not eating grains right now in hopes to heal my bloating and clear up my skin. Is this easy? not at all it took a lot of research, a lot of time and many frustrated trips to the grocery store. Now I have it down and I love the process going to the grocery store makes me giddy. I shop at wholefoods and Peoples (which is a all organic co-op) I had to give up going to Vons and albertsons because it was far to frustrating and I could only get a quarter of the things on my list. If Vons and albertsons are your only options then you will have to make due they are getting better and you can find organic things there its just not worth my time to go there. 

Planning is key I shop on tuesday and friday's so monday night I plan my meals for the week this is my life saver and it really doesnt take long. For me I need to set myself up for success and planning lets me do that it also lets me plan to make sure we are eating what I think is necessary (ex I believe eating liver once a week is vital, liver from pasture raised organic cows is super high in B12 vitamins its also a great source of iron. So that means I need to have stew or meat sauce or hamburgers once a week so I can hide it in there. Eating liver straight is not super yummy but when you hide it in something you would never know its there). Here is my meals for this week. 

Tuesday: Stuffed Zucchini's with sweet potatoes 

Wednesday: Fish Tacos

Thursday: Tortilla soup

Friday: Hamburgers with salad

Saturday: Coconut cream curry over rice

Sunday: Grilled chicken with mashed potatoes, and steamed broccoli 

Monday: Pasta

Doesnt that sound good? Doesnt this sound like foods you already make? The only difference is:

1. Mine is all organic and from local farmers when I can get things in season
2. I use good oils coconut, avocado, and butter from pasture raised cows (I use Strauss or kerry gold)
3. I cook at low temps so I dont cause toxic reactions in the food or I use my crock pot ( a crock pot is a life saver)
4. All grains are sprouted or soaked ( at the moment Im not eating grains because I was getting bloated and I wanted to figure out what was causing it and sure enough 9 days in to grain free I have not been bloated once) Since I have things on my menu that contain grains I cook extra sweet potatoes, yams and squash to put my pasta sauce on top of, or my coconut curry. I make a taco bowl instead of using corn wraps.
5. All beef is from pasture raised beef and not fed any grains. This means my beef is high in CLA and has a great omega 3 to 6 ratio. When we eat beef that eat grains it has high omega 6 levels that are not healthy for us and no CLA.
6. My chicken is organic we cant afford pasture raised chickens right now they are just not affordable and as long as the chickens are at a happy farm and have their days to spend in the sun and eat some bugs and the rest grain Im ok with that as long as its not GMO.
7. I make all my own dressings its usually fresh squeezed limes, avocado oil, celtic sea salt, and pepper. YUM!!
8. We get things from our garden as much as possible
9. Nothing comes from a box NOTHING

Another time and money saver is making extra I make enough for Brett and I to have lunch the next day(because I hate making lunch) and if I can I make enough to freeze one meal so If I really dont want to cook I can just take it out of the freezer and we have dinner.

I cook one whole chicken in the crock pot once a week this makes 2 dinners Coconut curry and pasta and 2 leftover lunches. I also get the bones which i can throw in the crock pot and make yummy mineral rich bone broth.  I always have bone broth so I can add it to sauces or stews and soups its extremely good for you and so easy to make.

For breakfast I scramble 3 pasture raised chicken eggs. If you gave me a egg from a commercial farm and a egg from a pasture raised chicken I could tell you instantly which is which there is a HUGE difference. I then usually make a smoothy: kefir(for probiotics) Raw Milk(raw milk can cure scurvy pasteurized milk cannot so that means it makes a big difference) blueberries, 1 banana, Kale, and 1 tsp of high vitamin butter oil and fermented cod liver oil.( you cant taste it)

Now for bryson.

Bryson is a SUPER picky eater and I would be lying to you if i said it didnt bother me but its his body not mine and I need to respect that. My job as a parent is to control what I offer him not control when and how much he eats. He cant eat something thats not there( so clear your house of junk and then you cant eat it)

I offer him things all day long if he takes one bite great, if he takes no bites great, and if he eats the whole thing great.

I offer him my eggs in the morning and smoothy, i will also ask if he wants kefir (which tastes like plain yogurt) mixed with berries.

He LOVES sea snacks seaweed and eats a TON of it so I always have some. (make sure its non GMO and uses a good oil) No vegetable oils
I always have live probiotic pickles (i buy bubbies), apples, berries, steamed carrots or green beans, sautéed yams or sweet potatoes on hand.
Lunch is usually what I have for lunch same goes for diner he doesnt eat grains so I just plan accordingly
I make these pumpkin pancakes which he loves and these muffins except I dont put any honey or syrup
If you follow me on pintrest I have some great recipes under healthy living.

Im still nursing and sometimes bryson will nurse 7 times in a day so thats where he gets most of his calories.

The biggest thing is me eating healthy in front of him and showing a good example. I know that I cant shelter him from the world of processed food but I feel like if I explain to him why I eat the way I do and let him know that I trust whatever decisions he wants to make for his body then we can have a balance. I want him to love the world of food like I do and that has to be his journey and can not be forced. Will a cringe when we go to a birthday party and he chows down chips and cake yes but i wont let him see that.

I hope this helps and if you have any other questions Im super happy to help

I really love Weston A price's research he was a dentist in the 1800s and was wondering why he was seeing so much tooth decay in america so he traveled around the world observing what other cultures ate and how there teeth were. What he found was astonishing and incredible there was no such thing as tooth paste in most of these culture but they had perfect white straight beautiful teeth. If you want to learn more check out their website.

I also LOVED the book beautiful babies, I also took her e course

I follow these blogs and this one they are fantastic

These are the livers from two calves. One was fed pasteurized milk and the other raw milk. Pretty remarkable difference, don't you think?

This is my deck Im growing mint, cilantro, basil, parsley and lettuce

 And our garden :)

nite nite Friends

Getting past struggle to love

I grew up in a healthy home, Ive been taking vitamins and eating spinach my whole life. I am super happy and thankful that I grew up in a healthy home for one I can eat anything Im not picky in the slightest (picky eating drives me bonkers my husband is picky and making diner for him feels like a chore I feel so nervous when I introduce something new and I never want to tell him what Im cooking incase he snubs his nose to it making me feel like why am I slaving away in the kitchen when I would be perfectly happy putting a eggplant in the oven and calling it dinner. After 4 years of marriage Im getting better and figuring out healthy ways to make what he likes and he is getting better at eating it haha)  My mom always listened to her gut and took the natural way when it came to us being sick we NEVER took medicine, we never went to the doctor I think I have maybe been on antibiotics 4 times in my life and it was because that was the only option and I detoxed after being on them.  I think thats amazing!! I believe the earth can provide everything we need. Is modern medicine necessary? sometimes yes but I believe it should be used as a last resort as modern medicine fixes one problem by creating another. ex you take antibiotics to cure XYZ  and yes it works wonders and XYZ is gone but you upset your natural probiotics in your gut and intestine reeking havoc on the balance of your good and bad bacteria so you go back to the doctor because you have a really bad upset stomach, or food allergies, or a rash and they give you another medication for that Its a endless cycle and the only way out is to go back to nature.

Ok back to my story.....

As I grew up I never knew how to listen to my body and to stop eating when I was full.  If something was yummy I would just eat and eat and eat until I felt incredibly sick. You would never know it though because I was 5'9, 90 pounds and so gangly and awkward. I really wish I could hug my teenage self and let her know it was going to get better.
People would CONSTANTLY comment on how much I ate " your going to eat more?" "where is all that food going?" "you eat like a horse!"  People also ALWAYS commented on how skinny I was never anything bad just always stating a fact as if I had any control over my weight at the time.  Then I hit 16 oh lord I wish this never happened but my ultra skinny - 0 frame gained 15 pounds and 15 pounds on my tiny frame is A LOT!! and now EVERYONE commented on how I gained weight and now it wasn't "your going to eat more?" in a tone of amazement it was "your going to eat more?" a tone of I really dont think you should be eating more. People were so used to me being so skinny it caught them off guard, they weren't saying these things to hurt me although deep down it was crushing me. I vividly remember laying on the couch with my whole family around aunts, uncles, cousins and I went to eat another cookie  my grandma slapped my butt and said "I dont think you need another cookie sweetheart". This devastated me it was the straw that broke the camels back, I all of a sudden became OBSESSIVE I thought about food constantly I would stare in the mirror and pick my body apart I would grab my love handles in utter disgust with myself. My relationship with food would never be the same again. I would then go on to develop an eating disorder that I would struggle with for 9 years, 9 years of my life I obsessed over what I ate, how I looked, what other people thought I should look like. When I would lose control over myself and devourer 4 cupcakes I would think about it all day long being SO mad at myself, I would go to the gym and exercise like maniac I would step on the scale and if it didnt say 130 on it I would freak out and chug a ton of water. I would count every single calorie, and then I had a thought one day after I had lost control and eaten a bowl of ice cream (like how dare I) I thought " If I just went and threw this up it would be like I never ate it" Oh how I wish I never had that thought, Oh how I wish I could hug that 19 year old girl and let her know what I know now. For 5 years anytime I thought I ate to much or was feeling "fat" I would throw up I would justify it by saying well I dont do it everyday and its only when I eat unhealthy so Im getting the bad food out of my body" Sick right?  Sometimes I would sit on the couch and eat a huge bowl of ice cream and hate myself every second of it...... but I couldnt stop and I wanted more!!!  So I would throw it up and then eat more. I obsessed over people sayin "wow your so skinny" it was music to my ears, I needed peoples approval of my body so that I could approve of it. For 9 years I suffered in silence not one soul knew my dirty secret. Then at the age of 25 I got pregnant and instantly my body was no longer mine. I don't want to say I was fixed cause that was so far from the truth but I refused to throw up ever again... and I didn't. I started to think about food as nourishing my growing baby and i didnt care about my body changing, I worked out I ate great and I felt fantastic!! and then I went to my 6 month pregnancy check up and I had gained 10 pounds that month. It was a little jab in the side but I brushed it off. My doctor (who I adored) came in the room and said so sweetly everything looks great although Im concerned your gaining to much weight. It wasn't possible to tell me anything worse, i broke down, started sobbing told her of my struggles with food. She looked at me and I knew exactly what she was thinking she knew she shouldn't have told me that. She sat down looked me in the eyes and said you need to not obsess over this, the weight gain is better than an eating disorder. The damage was done I left her office and downloaded a calorie counting app I logged every bite, I  wouldnt allow myself to eat sugar or anything fattening I was right back in my obsessive mind set and I hated myself for it.
I had a tooth that was driving me crazy and I had never had a cavity so I went to the dentist and thats where she would tell me I had 14 cavities yes you read that right 14 cavities. I couldnt believe it so I went for a second opinion and they confirmed it yes 14 cavities. I thought "did I do this?" I did this to myself didnt I? Because I wanted to be skinny SO BAD because I longed for other peoples approval I was putting my body threw hell. I had thrown up so many times that I caused 14 cavities. That was a hard pill to swallow, with every filling with every dollar I had to spend at that dentist I vowed to never EVER EVER obsess about food again. I had to take ownership over my life so my son would grow up taking ownership over his. I am the model for how he will see his body and something HAD to change, I had to love myself enough to change.

I started to read books about how to naturally heal your teeth which made me discover the Weston A Price foundation and I learned about what our ancestors used to eat and how healthy they were. I changed my mind set from "I want to eat to be skinny" to "I want to eat to feel my best"  I read everything I could get my hands on to teach me about nourishing our bodies and our babies (which we should grow up learning) I learned about how terrible our food is today, how sick we are, how medicated we are, how far away from nature we are becoming.  I learned that just because you breastfeed doesnt mean your babies getting the best nutrients if your diet is crap. Your baby gets what you get same thing goes for when your pregnant. Did you know that based on the way we eat while being pregnant can determine whether your children will need braces or glasses? That stuff fascinates me, health has become my passion. I can proudly tell you I dont count calories, or step on a scale or care about how tight my jeans are. I feel great, I feel healthy, I feel like doing the best I possibly can for my body.  This isnt always met with positive people think Im weird, and a little crazy that I only buy real food. I get a eye roll when I say my son has never had sugar or processed food like Im so ridiculous. When in reality eating things from boxes with ingredients that you cant pronounce that are not food but a science experiment  that are proven to cause cancer and reek havoc on your body seems really ridiculous to me. Did you know processed food never used to exist? That most ingredients found in our food are not even 20 years old? Meaning we are the ginny pigs to see what these ingredients do to us. Ummmmm no thanks

Eating this way  is a life style its allowed me to fall in love with food. Eating meat from pasture raised happy cows and chickens means respecting that animal. It means appreciating a farmer who has dedicated their life to the right kind of farming, who didnt sell their soul to big companies to make more money. It means giving back to our earth because happy cows and chickens living like they are meant to means they are making top soil vitamin rich top soil which will be used to grow vitamin rich organic fruits and veggies. Buying from farmers markets means Im supporting my community and small business's. You can see the pride on their faces when they give you your produce or the yogurt the cheese that was just freshly made.  That makes me smile, that makes me love food, it is so much more than just eating. Food can be our medicine or a slow poison.

We have a life long relationship with food we might as well make it a positive one.

If you struggle with food Im living proof it doesnt have to control you. YOU can change your life YOU can have a healthy self image. It will take some work, it will take a mind shift but all things are possible. We all deserve to love ourselves enough to allow ourselves to change.

Nite nite my friends

Morning Sunshine!!

Good morning :)

Becoming your best self does not only involve growing as a person it also means becoming as healthy as possible. Ive done some Big things this year in terms of my health which I will save for another time. Until then this is how I have been starting my morning a little morning detox!! You can also drink this threw out the day its rather refreshing and tasty.

3 dandelion tea bags steeped for 20- 30 mins 

Dandelion tea is your livers friend it helps produce bile and who doesnt need more bile in their life? ;) 

3 lemons squeezed in a water pitcher I always throw the lemons in it makes it look pretty 

1 handful of mint leaves

stevia powder ( use 1 teaspoon but you can add more) 

Make sure when buying stevia you purchase one that is still green and has not been bleached. 

I use Organic Traditions stevia leaf powder

1 dash of cayenne powder for an extra punch 

Add the dandelion tea make sure to squeeze out the bags to get all the added benefits add ice and chill in fridge 

Easy peasy lemon squeezy 

Enjoy :)               

the light bulb exploded

Last week I had one of those moments where the light bulb not only went on but it exploded. I learned That no person, place or thing determines my worth or my mood but ME. Now that might be common sense for a lot of you but its taken me 27 years to figure this out, and it all came about after my son (17 months old) slapped me in the face. You see I was exhausted, I was trying to unpack the groceries, and get diner started when my son wanted me to pick him up so knelt down and looked at him and said mommy just needs to unpack the groceries and ill pick you up so he slapped me. Now I wanted to grab his hand drag him to the other room and yell "DO NOT EVER HIT MOMMY". I mean inside I was MAD...... and then it hit me " I am allowing my sons emotional immaturity to determine the way I act and feel even though Im the adult and he is 1" Can I say that again " I am allowing my sons emotional immaturity to determine the way I act and feel even though Im the adult and he is 1"

and I can choose how I respond to him....... 

hmmmmmm now I got to thinking how does this spill over into my other relationships like you mean my husband isnt supposed to make me happy? or the dogs shouldn't send me into a crazy tail spin heading for the insane asylum when they pee on the carpet? Or what my mother inlaw thinks of me shouldnt keep me up at night? or the fact that that stranger who gave me a dirty look because I was nursing my son really shouldnt get any real-estate in my brain? 

WOW what??? You mean all these years that I threw adult tantrums and went crazy over what people thought of me and would spend countless hours obsessing about it didnt matter? and what really mattered was how I felt about myself? That I create my worth, that I determine my mood and my attitude, that I write the script for my life,  that I control my self talk.  This changed my life!! Now this doesnt mean I dont get upset nor does it mean words dont hurt. What it does mean is that I choose how I react to them, I choose how I respond not the other person. I have the power over myself! No one can treat me badly unless I allow them to. 

My 17 month old was acting perfectly normal for a tiered, hungry toddler who had no way of expressing his needs at that moment instead of asking to be picked up and then when his mom didnt do it he did the one thing he knew what to do and that was hit me. and yes hitting is wrong but you dont fix a problem with yelling, or using aggression so instead I said " bryson I see that you are having a hard time and it is never ok to hit me, hitting hurts, I think we both need a snack and a cuddle time on the couch" and boom problem solved!!  Now that could have gone the complete opposite direction I could have grabbed his hand, dragged him to the other and shouted now what would have happened? He would have flipped out and started crying, I would have felt guilty and both of our cups would have been empty. 

At the end of the day I have to live with myself and now that Ive learned that I hold the power over ME not anyone else I feel a lot more peace.

Taking responsiblity for your feelings and your worth takes guts, taking ownership of them means pausing.... taking a deep breath...... saying to yourself " what do I feel?"  sadness?   "what do I need?"   A break? a good cry? do I need to cross something off my to do list?  and allowing yourself to do so from a place of love. A lot of times just stopping and acknowledging our own needs and feelings is enough. 

nite nite

p.s this is why I didnt want a blog its 12:14 and I should be sleeping 

Why on earth are you starting a blog???

Why on earth are you starting a blog??? This is what I have been asking myself since the idea of a blog popped in my head. Kirista you dont even have time to paint your nails, DO NOT add one more thing to your list of things to do. The more I argued with myself the more I wanted to start one, you see I made a promise to myself that in 2013 I would go on a journey with ME to become my best self. Now I know this will be a life long journey but Im committed like never before and instead of trying to get to a destination Im enjoying the journey.

So this is my place to think, vent, reflect, LEARN, dive in, dig deep, and document the most important thing I will ever do..... L.I.V.E

So I invite you on this journey with me whatever it is you might be trying to fix, improve, get rid of in your life lets take it for what it is and "count it all joy"

Sweet dreams friends

Hi!!!!

Hello :)

I'm Kirista....... Wife to Brett, momma to Bryson, daughter of the king. This is my place to reflect, share, watch my progress and try to make sense of this crazy thing called life. I hope to learn more about myself, live just a little bit more on purpose,  inspire someone along the way, and hey maybe one day my great great grandchildren will want to know the thoughts and daily life of their great great grandma B and now they will be able to.

Enjoy