fight or flight

 I was recently out of town visiting family, my husband called one afternoon and told me he found a house we could rent for August 1st. It was June 25th and I wasn't going to be home till July 4th. We also were not planning on moving till next summer, so this came out of nowhere. If we wanted the house we would have to decide in the next couple days but we wouldn't be able to see the inside until I got back. 

At 1st I thought ok let's do it we need a yard and not having 4 levels to scale up everyday would be nice. As I lay awake that night I started to go into fight or flight: I'm going to be so far from my grocery stores, and sea world, and our church, it's going to be SO HOT out there. I'm going to miss the beach how am i going to pack with a toddler in 3 weeks No No No I don't want to move!!!! I called my husband the second I woke up and told him all my thoughts. He said "honey your being negative"... I got off the phone frustrated I wasn't being negative I was being SCARED I was panicking. 

I went to my mom in tears she calmly said "sweet heart I know how you feel I would feel the same way, but let's look at all the positive things". She listed them all and I instantly felt better, I instantly felt like I could breath. I realized that all my reading on parenting was truly right. For all we ever want as humans is to feel understood, to feel like someone has our back, that we are not alone. That's what new born babies need thats what my toddler needs when he is having a tantrum, it's what a 5 year old needs, it's what a teenager needs its what my 27 year old shelf needed. I was coming to my husband out of a place of fear I needed reassurance and LOVE and for him to say "honey I know how your feeling but I will protect us".  I'm not writing this to point out where my husband is at fault because Ive done this many times before to him. It's so that maybe someone can understand that fight or flight equals fear. Maybe if we all just took a second to step back and think when our loved ones are acting out we could come back and respond with love and understanding changing the whole scenario for the positive and strengthening our relationships! 

nite nite 

Kirista