Lori Petro

I just finished taking Lori Petro's class on communication I had so many hail mary moments. If you havent heard of Lori's work she is pretty special, she owns teach through love and her back story is truly inspirational. This lady rocks she's brilliant, simple, kind, her message is clear and just makes so much sense. I can not say enough about her work she will make a difference, she will change your relationships, she will change the way you think. Take her class, watch her videos, you will not regret it.
I need to document some of my hail mary moments because they were so profound for me. Lori spends a lot of her time helping us to understand ourselves, our triggers, our feelings, our needs. In the first class she talked about what happens before the feeling, what makes the feeling? Our need!! (stay with me) If we are hopping mad and yelling at our child or spouse saying something like "YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME". Where is that coming from? Stop for a second what do you need? To be heard? to be validated? to be understood? But you see this is YOUR need not your childs not your spouse, not your friends. They might have a different need at that moment, your needs are not matching which is making you think its THEM who is the problem. When in reality its YOUR need, YOUR trigger, not theirs. When we get in tune with our "self care" and begin regulating ourselves intentionally you start to see things unfold. My husband and I were going down a slippery slope and a argument was about to take place. I stoped and said what do I need? I need to understand.... what do I think he needs? I think he needs to be trusted. How can we bridge this gap? When we can identify our needs and try to identify our childs or loved ones we come to the table with a different mind set they are no longer a threat they are human, an imperfect human with real needs, with past experiences, or for our childs sake a lack of past experiences. We now can have compassion but this can only happen when we are self regulated and in tune with ourselves. Ummm can I get a HOLY crap why didnt I know this my whole life. It makes my brain hurt sometimes it makes so much sense. I have literally spent A LOT of time thinking about this, how many arguments with my husband would have been saved if we had been in touch with this.

Lori asked powerful questions in class number 3 what are you trying to communicate? What is your intention? What are you saying? Why are you saying it? Are you guiding and teaching or directing and demanding?  I feel like as parents sometimes we say things to just say things or make ourselves feel good, and I loved that she challenges us to think about why we are saying them. What is the point of our words?

We focused a lot about allowing children to develop as problem solvers, I have previously read a lot about this but its something I continually need to flood my brain with as its easier to fix Brysons problems then it is to teach him how to solve them. Which does not help him in the wrong run or set him up for success in the real world. A tool she suggested to use is say observations rather then judgments. Ex You were not done playing with that toy, and Alex wanted the toy so bad he took it from you? You feel really angry. What could we do to fix this?  She says to always stay on your children's side your not a threat and this isnt a emergency so dont act like it. Example: Your two sons are playing and the younger one starts crying, instead of walking in the room and saying"what did you do" (threat) say an observation with a question ex: I see your little brother is sad, can you tell me what happened? He knocked down your tower of blocks that you were working really hard on? I bet that made you feel frustrated. He is really upset right now I'm wondering what we could do to make him feel better? You dont know? Maybe we can do a group hug and then you can include him on building your tower, does that work for you?  I just loved this and there are of course a million different ways these conversation can go but being on your kids side, helping them process and work threw situation and problem solve helps them access their higher brain function!!! BRILLANT amazing......

A couple extremely helpful tools I took away from her class is: Praise effort not results ex.. I noticed you working so hard to build your tower you never gave up no matter how many times the blocks fell, you should be so proud of your work. Dont tell kids your opinion of their life ex good job sharing Instead tell them what impact it made Ex Did you see Sarah's face when you shared your teddy bear? She smiled so big I bet she felt special.

Kids are literal and simple say what you want them to do not what you dont want them to do. This leaves no room for interpretation and is more positive. Ex Dont come by the oven as I open it its hot instead say: I need you to hold on to this cupboard while I open the oven because it hot. This works so well with Bryson I cant even tell you.

Some connecting phrases: Im wondering (how your feeling) (if that made you mad) (what we should do next)

I noticed: I noticed (how sad that made you feel) (you cleaned up your room)

Dont de value others feeling with But..... Your so sad because we have to leave the park but I gave you plenty of time to play. Drop the But dont explain why you are right just let them feel.

Lastly ask kids how that made them feel: When they rebel against what you have asked or the limits you set ask them " How did that make you feel when I asked you to put the dishes in the dishwasher?" or "Im wondering whats going on for you not to hold up to our agreement to clean up your room?", "it doesnt work for me for you to not clean your room, I need order in the house. So how can we work together so  we both feel good about this"  Isnt that just so respectful? Honestly my mind was opened and is expanding. Its not easy for me but Im working hard to change the way I say things and to uncover my triggers and needs. What a better world we would live in if we all did the same.

I cant wait to take more of her classes and re listen to our class playbacks for me I need to re visit things over and over again for them to stick.

Lori ends each video and class with : "Its not about perfection, its about consciousness" :) Beautiful

How can we be a little more conscious today?

Have a great day friends

I wonder

"Adolf Hitler entered this world as a promising young leader on April 20, 1889. He was one of three children born to Alois Hitler and Klara Polzl. Karla was protective and smothering, and Alois was hot-tempered and hard headed. At age twelve Adolf told his dad he wanted to be a priest, but Alois firmly rejected this career choice. Later, young Adolf talked about wanting to become an artist. Alois insisted Adolf could never make a living that way. After Alois Hitler died suddenly in 1903, fifteen year old Adolf traveled to Vienna to pursue a career in fine arts, but the art school rejected him for lack of creativity. He didnt want to return home, so he hung around in homeless shelters, with lots of time to read the anti-semitic books being circulated among the poor and homeless in Vienna. Finally, after experiencing rejection after rejection in Austria, Hitler decided to return to Germany and enlist in the army. He fought in World War 1, and for the first time he felt apart of something great, but germany lost the war. Feeling bitter and defeated, Hitler vowed that one day he would avenge himself and his country. The rest as they say, is history. "

This was told in a book I recently finished reading called Generation iY. After reading this story of Hitlers life I couldnt help but think of what if? I know that's an impossible question to ask but really... What if? What if his father believed in him, what if a teacher or friend had spoken positive into his life? What if?....... One of the greatest leaders of all time could have changed the world for the greater good. Thats powerful, thats history changing. Now Im not saying he holds no personal responsibility for what he became or what he choose to do, but its very clear that had his life not taken that course history would have been different. At some point "we" as a society, as parents, need to be held responsible. What we are doing as parents, friends, teachers, co workers matters. Maybe its time we take it a little bit more seriously, and hold ourselves a little bit more accountable.

Nite nite friends

helping a sister out

My least favorite thing in my day is figuring out what to make for dinner (yes I know that is not a real problem) I usually plan a week out so I can stick to budget and only have to rack my brain one day a week. So my friends Im sharing with you 3 weeks of meals, pick out whatever you like spice up your own life with some change :) Oh and Im sharing my homemade gummy recipe (they are high in protein, and collagen and are tasty!!

Enjoy


Monday: Beef Stroganoff  I dont eat wheat so I put this over a sweet potato or yam and make butter noodles for Brett.  (Make extra to freeze)

Tuesday: Grilled chicken: sautéed beets, carrots, and squash. and a salad ( cucumber, tomato, feta, olives, pepperoncini's, 1 lemon squeezed, salt and pepper)

Wednesday: Yam hash recipe at bottom of page

Thursday: Chicken Fajitas ( I make a slow cooker whole chicken the night before the left over chicken I use for another meal)

Friday: Burgers ( I always add liver and use lettuce instead of a bun) If im not lazy Ill make a salad (lettuce, cucumber, carrots, sun flower seeds, avocado oil, apple cider vinegar)

Saturday: Chicken Pizza I make this gluten free crust we usually add whatever we have. (use leftover chicken from fajitas

Sunday: Fish Tacos

Monday: Lettuce Wraps ( I do ground beef) I cook rice as a side (make extra rice for later in the week)

Tuesday: Pasta (this is my use whatever vegetables I need to get rid of dish) I put mine over a yam

Wednesday: Chicken pot pie ( I make one to freeze of a later date) Instead of wheat I used a gluten free flour and it worked great.

Thursday: Crock Pot cashew chicken (use the leftover rice)

Friday: Grilled cheese and tomato soup (lazy day)

Saturday: Grilled Chicken: chimmichurri sauce, roasted potatos and steamed carrots

Sunday: Kale and sausage 

Monday: Stuffed zucchini Make extra stuffing and use for pasta later in the week

Tuesday: Crock pot chicken: Whole chicken, veggies of your choice(yams, potatoes, carrots, parsnips etc) Salt pepper herbs and enough liquid to cover   Let that baby cook all day.... Left over chicken for another meal

Wednesday: Lasagna (make one to freeze) I use egg plant or zucchini instead of noodles

Thursday: Fish with rice (extra rice for later date)

Friday: Pasta (use the stuffing from monday)

Saturday: Chili (make extra to freeze) I make mine in the crock pot)

Sunday: Chicken enchiladas (use chicken from tuesday)

You now have 4 meals in the freezer for lazy days :)

Ok now for the gummies:

In a pot place 2.5 cups of juice (I used santa cruz organic apricot and mango)
Add 3 lemons juice (if you like sour add a 4th one)

Stir till warm not boiling you just need it warm enough to add the gelatin
Stir in half a cup of great lakes gelatin ( I use that one because it comes from grass fed cows and is SUPER good for you) Add a little bit at a time
I put mine in the blender just to make sure there are no lumps
Poor onto parchment paper on a cookie sheet
place in fridge till  set

ENJOY :)